While preparing for this year’s Fourth of July party, Dale and I were talking about last year and our favorite story. I wasn’t going to write about it on my blog because it has nothing to do with gardening, but I’ve decided that it’s an important story, and it needs to be told. I’ll add pictures of my garden to make it fit the blog.
My red hibiscus is so cheerful right now.
Three other couples, some of their children and their boyfriends/girlfriends joined us for July 4, 2014. Only a few of us were on the dock to witness the first part of my story. One of the World Cup soccer games was about to start, so twenty-something year old Westin told his girlfriend that they needed to go up to the house and watch. As Sally was gathering her things, Westin barked, “Hurry up!” After they left, my friend Bob turned to me and said, “I don’t like the way he talked to her.” I heartily agreed and explained how I would have handled the situation. He told me that I should give her my advice.
The potted garden at the garage looks good this year.
As luck would have it, Sally forgot something on the dock, and showed up ten minutes later without Westin. Bob started doing the little head nod towards Sally while looking at me thing. So I said, “Sally, it’s not really any of my business, but you shouldn’t let Westin talk to you like that. Next time he uses that tone and tells you to hurry up, this is what you should do: stand up, put your hands on your hips and say, ‘I’ll come when I’m F’ing ready!’” Only my advice to Sally didn’t use a contraction. Sally answered, “Oh Ms. Hill, I don’t think I could say that.” I didn’t remember this next part of the story until Bob reminded me this year. He said I replied to Sally with great conviction and emphasis, “Oh yes you can!”
Another picture of the pots at the garage.
And one more of the pots at the garage.
The next day I came down to the dock later than everyone else. Most people were off on the boat, but Bob and my husband, Dale, were there. As I got closer, I saw the big Cheshire cat grins on their faces and asked what happened. Bob said, “You would be so proud of Sally. Westin yelled at her when they were leaving. She flipped him the bird and said, ‘Don’t talk to me like that.’”
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Jack demonstrates what it means to “flip someone the bird”. He’s annoyed at that plant because it’s so weedy.
I probably should have mentioned to Sally that if my approach seemed too harsh, she could have discussed Westin’s behavior with him in private. Either way, the important thing is to not let him treat her that way.
Big Dude Rain lily (Zephyanthes ‘Big Dude’)
Big Dude Rain lily (Zephyanthes ‘Big Dude’)
Since I want to give good and complete advice, I’ll tell you that this is only an acceptable response to shitty behavior from a significant other. With other people, unless it borders on abuse, be the bigger person; ignore it. For instance, as a gracious hostess, if Westin had said something rude like, “Why are you still at the lake? Shouldn’t you be cooking dinner? I’m hungry.” I would have answered sweetly, “Dinner’s going to be awhile. Why don’t you run up to the house and get a snack. And if you want to speed things up, you can start peeling those potatoes on the counter.”
I was going to simply title this post ‘Advice for Women’, but sometime after July 4th 2014, Westin and Sally broke up, so take heed all you males. Treat your ladies with respect. Dale always does.